Doing the hard work...

I was reading an article on addictions from the CrossRoads Website written by Jason McCarty Outpatient Therapist, and it reminded me of how as adoptive parents we have to "do the hard work" even when we wish we didn't have to.

Here's a quote from the article

"We talk quite often in the addiction treatment world of “doing the work”, and this really entails the examining, changing, and processing of one’s emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships, to keep it simple. Doing the hard work sometimes is about being vulnerable enough to allow other human beings to help. Doing the hard work sometimes means exploring events of the past that continue to keep one stuck. Doing the hard work sometimes means deciding who one wants to be. Doing the hard work sometimes means taking medication. Doing the hard work sometimes means taking more responsibility for one’s life. Although I describe this as hard work, it can be, and usually is, very rewarding and transforming."

I don't know about you, but that definitely describes how I feel about parenting kids with special needs. Before I became a parent to kids with special needs I never thought I would have to ask others for help. I thought I would automatically know what to do, all the time, in all situations. I had to explore issues in my past that prevented me from seeing my kids for who they are, not who I wanted them to be. I had to decide if I wanted to be the parent who sat in a chair and yelled at her kids, or did I want to be the parent who got off her butt and was actually, physically there for her kids. I had to accept that perhaps medication would make my life, and my kids' lives better. I had to accept that although my life is not what I thought it was going to be, I have three wonderful kids that I would travel to the ends of the earth for, and do whatever it takes. And yes it is extremely difficult at times, and it can be very hard work. But my life has definitely been transformed and is very, very rewarding.