Let's not be too "judgy" here, shall we?

Is "judgy" even a word? It is to me.

There I was, happily minding my own business coming out of WalMart and trying to remember where I parked my car. (Note to self: next time get any colour of car except gray). I walked past two women who were standing by what I assumed was their car, with a child of about two in the shopping buggy. They were both smoking. As I walked past they were talking about the fancy SUV that was pulling out of the nearby parking spot quite quickly. I heard one woman say..."You know, she left her kid in the car the whole time she was in that F#$%^&* store."

Now perhaps it's just me who sees the irony of that situation, but I had to smile to myself. They were smoking and using "swears" in front of a two year old, while passing judgement on the woman in the SUV. And probably the woman in the SUV was passing judgement on them too. And I was passing judgement on all of them. (Fortunately I didn't stick around to hear what they had to say about me!) But as I finally found my car, I had to smile to myself realizing how we all make so many judgements of others without stopping to look at ourselves first.

I know I do it all the time, but I also really try to recognize when I am doing it and correct myself. Perhaps this comes from being such a visible family when we're with our kids. I am so used to people looking at us now, that it rarely phases me. When I am out with my husband, or just by myself, I know I can "blend" in and be less noticable. (Ok, except for when I was at Costco this afternoon and locked my keys in the truck and got my arm stuck through the 2" window openning.)

As I sat waiting for the BCAA tow truck driver to rescue me, I passed the time people watching, which is usually quite entertaining. Another exercise in "being judgy". From fashion faux-pas, to bad drivers, to screaming children; I saw them all. I passed the 45 minute wait noting my initial judgement of the person(s), and then thinking about how if I was a perfect person, what would I be thinking about those people. But if I was a perfect person, I guess I would know enough to just mind my own business wouldn't I?

Another event that happened this past weekend worth noting on this "judgy" topic of conversation. My friend Ola, who is black, was with my kids and I in the WalMart in Penticton on Saturday. She noticed it before I did. Ola said, "Did ya notice how no one even looks at you twice when I'm with you and your kids?" Yup, everyone just assumes they're her kids. Ha! I guess that means they're blaming her for my daughter's bad hair day!

And here's another shopping experience I had recently. I was in Fabricland and kept running in to a grandmotherly type woman with a young boy of about 4. She was looking for pure cotton fabric because he can't have anything else touching his skin as it drives him (and therefore, her) crazy. I kept bumping into them and chatting with the two of them, and of course we ended up at the cashier at the same time. She looked exhausted and we were commiserating about how tough it is to find the time to sew when you have little kids around all the time. I mentioned that by the time they get to bed, we're ready for bed ourselves. Then she said that she was adopting this little guy and he is very hyper due to being born addicted to crack cocaine. (Yes, I know, we're all making judgements that perhaps the line up at Fabricland was not the best place to reveal his information.) But I bet she felt everyone was thinking she's his Grandma and why can't she keep this kid under control?

But I smiled at her, told her I have two of those kids too. I gave her my business card and suggested she call me and we can talk. I really hope she calls me, but I won't be making any snap judgements if she doesn't.