FASD Support Group Visit

I got my fix! Tuesday night I went on my second trip to Kelowna in one day to attend the FASD support group. It's a small group of very experienced parents that I've been in contact with over the years.

When I first met up with them my younger two kids were just about to be placed with us, and knowing that they had been exposed to alcohol in-utero I thought I should get connected. I came away from that first meeting feeling very overwhelmed and that FASD was going to be so much more than I could handle. I was very discouraged. I can't remember if there was anything specific that disillusioned me, but just an overall very negative feeling.

Fast forward to a few months after the kids were in our home and I went to another meeting. Granted I had only a few months of experience living with FASD, but I knew that I needed support because parenting these kids was quite a bit different than parenting a typical child. So off I went to Kelowna for another FASD support group meeting. I remember coming out of that session feeling not quite so discouraged or overwhelmed. I had heard stories way worse than mine. And although those stories were heartbreaking and sometimes unthinkable, I really felt included. I didn't feel like I was the only one who was trying to deal with the insane logic of a child with FASD. I felt like finally someone understood how tough it was.

Over the years I've been to a few more of the group meetings and networked with some of the members; met for coffee etc. But as life got busier with school and activities I hadn't connected for awhile. Then as fate would have it, one of the moms from the group responded to an email I had sent out regarding the True Colours Kelowna sessions. Once again I was reminded of how important it is for me to connect with other FASD parents. I make such an effort to connect my kids culturally, but I was neglected the connections I needed for myself. I needed the culture of other FASD parents.

At the meeting on Tuesday there were just 3 couples and myself. I had met all of them before so I felt at ease right away. (It always amazes me how I can talk to a large group of people about adoption no problem, but when it comes to getting my own support needs met I can be so insecure. I'm sure there's expensive therapy to deal with that!)

I couldn't believe how quickly the time passed. It was so theraputic to laugh about the craziness of our kids, and to hear that others who have been doing this for such a long time already, are still dealing with, and able to laugh about it all. From the frustrations of trying to find jobs for the young adults with FASD, to boyfriend and girlfriend issues, to trying to brush a kids' teeth when the kid is taller than you, were all up for discussion.

Just to hear the empathy in the voices of other parents felt so good to me. I found a place where I can laugh and cry about the challenges and joys (yes, there are many joys too!) in a very supportive environment.

My next challenge is to find a babysitter for my kids so my husband can come with me next time.