Let's not be too "judgy" here, shall we?

Is "judgy" even a word? It is to me.

There I was, happily minding my own business coming out of WalMart and trying to remember where I parked my car. (Note to self: next time get any colour of car except gray). I walked past two women who were standing by what I assumed was their car, with a child of about two in the shopping buggy. They were both smoking. As I walked past they were talking about the fancy SUV that was pulling out of the nearby parking spot quite quickly. I heard one woman say..."You know, she left her kid in the car the whole time she was in that F#$%^&* store."

Now perhaps it's just me who sees the irony of that situation, but I had to smile to myself. They were smoking and using "swears" in front of a two year old, while passing judgement on the woman in the SUV. And probably the woman in the SUV was passing judgement on them too. And I was passing judgement on all of them. (Fortunately I didn't stick around to hear what they had to say about me!) But as I finally found my car, I had to smile to myself realizing how we all make so many judgements of others without stopping to look at ourselves first.

I know I do it all the time, but I also really try to recognize when I am doing it and correct myself. Perhaps this comes from being such a visible family when we're with our kids. I am so used to people looking at us now, that it rarely phases me. When I am out with my husband, or just by myself, I know I can "blend" in and be less noticable. (Ok, except for when I was at Costco this afternoon and locked my keys in the truck and got my arm stuck through the 2" window openning.)

As I sat waiting for the BCAA tow truck driver to rescue me, I passed the time people watching, which is usually quite entertaining. Another exercise in "being judgy". From fashion faux-pas, to bad drivers, to screaming children; I saw them all. I passed the 45 minute wait noting my initial judgement of the person(s), and then thinking about how if I was a perfect person, what would I be thinking about those people. But if I was a perfect person, I guess I would know enough to just mind my own business wouldn't I?

Another event that happened this past weekend worth noting on this "judgy" topic of conversation. My friend Ola, who is black, was with my kids and I in the WalMart in Penticton on Saturday. She noticed it before I did. Ola said, "Did ya notice how no one even looks at you twice when I'm with you and your kids?" Yup, everyone just assumes they're her kids. Ha! I guess that means they're blaming her for my daughter's bad hair day!

And here's another shopping experience I had recently. I was in Fabricland and kept running in to a grandmotherly type woman with a young boy of about 4. She was looking for pure cotton fabric because he can't have anything else touching his skin as it drives him (and therefore, her) crazy. I kept bumping into them and chatting with the two of them, and of course we ended up at the cashier at the same time. She looked exhausted and we were commiserating about how tough it is to find the time to sew when you have little kids around all the time. I mentioned that by the time they get to bed, we're ready for bed ourselves. Then she said that she was adopting this little guy and he is very hyper due to being born addicted to crack cocaine. (Yes, I know, we're all making judgements that perhaps the line up at Fabricland was not the best place to reveal his information.) But I bet she felt everyone was thinking she's his Grandma and why can't she keep this kid under control?

But I smiled at her, told her I have two of those kids too. I gave her my business card and suggested she call me and we can talk. I really hope she calls me, but I won't be making any snap judgements if she doesn't.

Homework

As I write this, my grade six daughter is practicing the clarinet in the room next to me. I have to admit, she is getting better than she was a week ago; alot few squeaks and more "music-ish" sounds coming from her room.

My other two are upstairs playing some kind of Nerf Dart Tag game that involves running, crashing and loud voices. Oh wait, that loud voice is my husband telling them to settle down or go outside. It's dark outside. Earlier he was trying to watch the news while they played Lego; and of course that wasn't a quiet game either. It involved Star Wars Storm Troopers fighting against Indiana Jones and Super Mario.

This type of play always reminds me of that movie "Stand By Me" when the boys are walking across the train trestle and arguing whether Mighty Mouse could beat Superman. I guess you have to be a kid to get it.

My other two (the medicated duo) did their homework earlier this afternoon before their meds wore off. Although they complain at the time, they are certainly better able to focus at 4 pm than at 7 pm. Plus then it leaves their evening free for playing. My son in grade 4 had his first homework today with a list of 20 words he has to know how to spell by Friday. I read the words off to him and he spelled them all correctly the first time. Whoo Hoo!

My daughter in grade 5 who is the most challenged by FASD does not do so well. She had about half of her words misspelled and some of them didn't even make sense. Last week we practiced her 20 words every day. Every day she would get different ones wrong from the day before. So then I would have her copy them out correctly 3 times, and that was all. Not once in those 4 days did she get all 20 words right, and I'm not even sure she knew the meaning of all of them. Oh sure, she could tell me what the word meant when I used it in a sentence, but then to look at the word and know what it meant was very challenging for her. Some of them she got, some she didn't have a clue. But on her spelling test she got 17 out of 20 so that's great. But I wonder if she feels bad that her brother who's younger, and her sister who's older, generally do much better than her in school. Does she even notice? She doesn't seem to. I guess that can be a good thing and a not-so-good thing.

When she was younger I kind of thought it was good she wasn't bothered by what people thought of her choice in clothing for example. But the distance between herself and her peers seems to be growing, and perhaps it would be good if she noticed some of the differences. Because her peers seem to be noticing. But then, would she be able to keep up with them? Not likely. So if she did notice the differences between herself and her peers, is she supposed to feel bad enough to be motivated to try harder to keep up? That's not going to happen for her. Her brain can't do that. So why should she feel bad because she can't do what others can?

I've heard other parents of FASD kids say that their kids really resent being labelled as "challenged". The kids insist they're not "one of those retards". Our kids don't look mentally challenged, but they are. All to different degrees, and no two the same. Parents of FASD young adults talk about how difficult it was 15 years ago when their kids were in school and no one knew anything about FASD. I can only hope that in 15 years from now, FASD will be as well known and accepted as dyslexia or autism.

My daughter has 10 more minutes of practice time...10 long minutes. (Note to self - keep a set of ear plugs in my desk to help muffle the "music".) I remember when I was in band for my first year and we thought we were soooo good. Then we heard a recording of it - how depressing to discover we were really lousy. I mean really lousy. But I did stay in band all the way from grade 7 to grade 12 and I had a great time. Especially on the band trips. Plus most of my friends were in band too, and there was no way I was joining drama and I didn't have any art skills beyond paint-by-numbers.

Oh well, tomorrow's another day. Hope it's a good one for all of us1

The morning routine

Every school morning it's the same thing, or pretty close to the same thing.

Step 1: Wake up L & X (and wonder why haven't their alarm clocks gone off? I bought them all clocks so I wouldn't have to do this.They probably took them out used them in the Wii remotes.)
Step 2: Wake up L & X again by turning on the lights and pulling covers off.
Step 3: Remind L to do her blood test and take meds.
Step 4: Remind X to take his meds.
Step 5: Make sure C is awake (she actually uses her alarm)
Step 6: Repeat step 4
Step 7: Encourage L to decide what she wants to eat instead of starring into the pantry or fridge
Step 8: Repeat Step 4 in a very very firm voice.
Step 9: Make three different sandwiches for lunches: Cheese and mayo for X, ham and mayo for L, and peanut butter and honey for C
Step 10: Insist X get dressed before he eats (this is where he whines how hungry he is and I tell him to get dressed quickly, then he can eat)
Step 11: Encourage L to eat in big kid bites not mouse bites
Step 12: Try to tune out C singing the latest pop song (today it was "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus)
Step 13: Repeat step 11
Step 14: Repeat step 10
Step 15: Repeat step 11
Step 16: Make sure X uses a small bowl for cereal not a mixing bowl full to the top
Step 17: Repeat step 11
Step 18: Pour large cup of coffee for me
Step 19: Help C decide which bracelets, belt, earring, hair band, etc. to accessorize her outfit.
Step 20: Repeat step 11
Step 21: Find where I put my coffee cup
Step 22: Make sure X has clean socks, shirt and shorts on
Step 23: Send L to get dressed with reminders of deoderant and moisturizer
Step 24: Finish packing lunches, sign planners and all permission forms that have only just appeared but are due today
Step 25: Rotate all 3 children through the bathroom for teeth and face (X usually 2-3 rotations, L usually 2 and C usually 2 which includes cleaning up all the wardrobe rejects of the morning)
Step 26: Repeat step 12
Step 27: If by some miracle someone actually says they're done everything, list off the tasks and send them back to do what they missed, including making the bed
Step 28: If I've found my coffee, consume it
Step 29: Check list of activities for the day and make sure each kid has bathing suit & towel/musical instrument/homework/gym strip/fill in the blank
Step 30: Give 5 minute warning before it's time to leave for the bus
Step 31: Stand back while the parade of backpacks, hoodies and shoes fill up the entryway
Step 32: Remind whoever will be taking the bus home to actually get ON the bus after school
Step 33: Kiss and hug all children goodbye
Step 34: Stay close by in case someone runs back because they've forgotten something
Step 35: Make sure bus has cleared the stop with all 3 kids on it
Step 36: Find coffee (which is usually right in front of me), sit down, relax.

Yup, just your average day.

The right support people

I was at the diabetic clinic with my daughter the other day, and yet again, I was reminded of the importance of having good professionals involved with my kids.

For those of you who don't have a child with diabetes, here's how the diabetic clinic works. Every 3 months the diabetic team meets with the child and parent(s) to go over the plans and care of the child to see what's working, what isn't, does medication need to be adjusted, etc. There's the diabetic nurse educator - her name is Cathy and she's been involved with us almost since diagnosis. Then there's the revolving door of dietician/nutritionists and of course the interns who are also constantly changing. And the pediatric endocrinologist is there too.

So first we met with Cathy and dietician. I can't even remember her name, and it probably doesn't matter because she wasn't there last time and more than likely she won't be there next time either. She has never met my daughter and other than quickly reading her chart really doesn't have a clue about her. Cathy however, is wonderful and welcoming to my daughter and she talks to her like an old friend. I can't speak for other parents, but for my daughter with FASD, seeing the same faces every time is so important. Cathy remembers to ask her about her favorite stuffed animal, she remembers what they talked about last time, and just generally connects with my daughter.

And you can see the anxiety building up in my daughter as she is faced with a barrage of questions from the other two (dietician and student) at the table. Her feet are shuffling and her legs are bouncing and she's playing with the strings on her hoodie, while giving one word answers to their many questions. I'm not one of those moms who answer the questions for my kids; I keep quiet and let them answer.

So while Cathy and I discuss the insulin pump and sensor and try to figure out what we need to tweak the dosages, I'm trying to give the other two professionals a bit of background on some of my daughter's challenges. (Note to self: next time just make general conversation). Then after we get the dosages figured out, we start talking with the dietician about food issues and I try to explain my daughter's inablility to stop herself from taking sweets any chance she gets, and what we're doing to try and stem that. And then it happened...the nutrionist leaned into my daughter and said "It's ok, we all crave sweets now and then".

No,it is NOT ok. For crying out loud - this kids has FASD. She's not the same as you! She doesn't crave sweets "now and then" she craves them ALL the time. And she can't stop herself. I just wanted to scream at the woman.

After that part was over, I talked to Cathy outside the office and told her how much damage that one comment could do. Cathy looked as frustrated as I was. She "gets" it. Cathy said she'd speak with the dietician and try to explain to her. But I could feel Cathy's frustration too. It's tough to have to educate every newbie that comes along. Yeah well, when I rule the world things will be different.

FASD Support Group Visit

I got my fix! Tuesday night I went on my second trip to Kelowna in one day to attend the FASD support group. It's a small group of very experienced parents that I've been in contact with over the years.

When I first met up with them my younger two kids were just about to be placed with us, and knowing that they had been exposed to alcohol in-utero I thought I should get connected. I came away from that first meeting feeling very overwhelmed and that FASD was going to be so much more than I could handle. I was very discouraged. I can't remember if there was anything specific that disillusioned me, but just an overall very negative feeling.

Fast forward to a few months after the kids were in our home and I went to another meeting. Granted I had only a few months of experience living with FASD, but I knew that I needed support because parenting these kids was quite a bit different than parenting a typical child. So off I went to Kelowna for another FASD support group meeting. I remember coming out of that session feeling not quite so discouraged or overwhelmed. I had heard stories way worse than mine. And although those stories were heartbreaking and sometimes unthinkable, I really felt included. I didn't feel like I was the only one who was trying to deal with the insane logic of a child with FASD. I felt like finally someone understood how tough it was.

Over the years I've been to a few more of the group meetings and networked with some of the members; met for coffee etc. But as life got busier with school and activities I hadn't connected for awhile. Then as fate would have it, one of the moms from the group responded to an email I had sent out regarding the True Colours Kelowna sessions. Once again I was reminded of how important it is for me to connect with other FASD parents. I make such an effort to connect my kids culturally, but I was neglected the connections I needed for myself. I needed the culture of other FASD parents.

At the meeting on Tuesday there were just 3 couples and myself. I had met all of them before so I felt at ease right away. (It always amazes me how I can talk to a large group of people about adoption no problem, but when it comes to getting my own support needs met I can be so insecure. I'm sure there's expensive therapy to deal with that!)

I couldn't believe how quickly the time passed. It was so theraputic to laugh about the craziness of our kids, and to hear that others who have been doing this for such a long time already, are still dealing with, and able to laugh about it all. From the frustrations of trying to find jobs for the young adults with FASD, to boyfriend and girlfriend issues, to trying to brush a kids' teeth when the kid is taller than you, were all up for discussion.

Just to hear the empathy in the voices of other parents felt so good to me. I found a place where I can laugh and cry about the challenges and joys (yes, there are many joys too!) in a very supportive environment.

My next challenge is to find a babysitter for my kids so my husband can come with me next time.

True Colours Kelowna - Thank you letter

Take a look at this wonderful letter I received about the True Colours Kelowna event on Sunday Sept. 20th.

September 2009

On behalf of my family, I would like to thank all involved with the True Colours Mentoring group. My children had a great time and are eager to return. This group keeps getting bigger and better, thanks to the outstanding guidance and energy of Ola. This new year had a great start, especially with so many new mentors! What a wonderful opportunity for our children to spend time with these positive role models. Also, the children attending are from all ages which help to create a family atmosphere. I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child, and this is a great addition to our village. We will definitely spread the word to our friends.

Thank you Ola and mentors!!!

The Ginter Family

This is why we do what we do! And let me add my thanks to our many mentors and especially Ola for their time and their talents to make this project so successful.

Just your average day...

It's 5 pm and I should be making dinner but no. My oldest daughter is just learning to play the clarinet, and although I certainly admire her tenacity, it's so very painful to listen to. She has to practice 30 min a day (I'm sure the music teacher gets such a kick out of this time of year thinking about what parents of his new band students are listening to). And my oldest is a rule follower and has already finished her homework too. Well at least one of the three is liking school.

My middle daughter has ADD so doing homework before the meds wear off is crucial. But not if she had her way about it. She's home by 3 pm so I let her have an hour or so to veg out, have a snack, and watch tv. Then it's time for spelling. Sigh. I hate spelling. She finished the work quite quickly and fixed the errors I found. Then I called out the words while she wrote them down. She had about 10 of the 20 spelled incorrectly, so then I have her copy out the correct spelling 3 times for each word. Tomorrow we'll try again and she may remember how to spell them, or she may not. Such is the brain of a child with FASD.

Meanwhile, my son who is ADHD was supposed to be packing up all the recycling for garbage day tomorrow. Although he complains about doing it, it gives him a chance to crush boxes by jumping up and down repeatedly on them. And of course he has to chat the whole time he's doing it about how he wishes the guy who invented Lego lived in our town and how he wishes he could play with this guy's kid and they could try out all the new Lego, yada yada yada. Right now he's supposed to be doing his 20 minutes of reading, and even though he chooses his own books it's always a battle.

Oh, and did I mention my middle daughter with FASD is currently scrubbing her mattress to try to clean the stains off of, and smell out of. It must have been several days ago when she peed it, but instead of changing the sheets or telling someone about it, she chooses to sleep on it night after night until I discover it. Now you'd think the smell would give it away, but that was not the case today. I was doing my usual check of her bed to see if she had any food hidden because I did a huge shop at Costco yesterday, and that's usually when I find stuff. And I heard her up in the middle of the night but I had forgotten to lock down the pantry.

Yup, just your average day around here. Now you see why I'm going to that FASD support group tomorrow night?

It's Monday

Wow that weekend went by quickly. I guess we really are back in the swing of things.

I had lunch on Friday with 3 girl friends. We always get together for each other's birthdays and sometimes we can go months without seeing each other. But when we do, it's as if no time at all has passed. 3 of us have girls in grade 6, middle school, french immersion. The other 3 moms have boys in grade 8 french immersion, and one mom has a daughter in grade 11. None of them have kids through adoption, but all of them have varying levels of challenges in their families.

One mom has a daughter who is absolutely terrified of loud noises such as thunder and fireworks. Now the fireworks are obviously easy to avoid, but thunder storms are quite common in our area throughout the summer. They have had to cancel vacations, leave social events early, and outright avoid other events completely all because of their daughter. This girl is a very sweet kid but doesn't have many friends.

Another mom has an extremely anxious daughter who pushes herself to excel at sports, while her son is somewhat quirky and has difficulty knowing what is socially acceptable.

And the other mom has a great relationship with her teenage daughter. Her son is a great kid, but a bit socially immature.

I love hanging out with these three wonderful women. They may not have adoption issues, but we all have challenges with our kids. We all struggle with being over 40, trying to stay somewhat fit, work part time, keep our household somewhat under control, and have time for our husbands too.

In my role as an adoption support coordinator it can be tough to find the support I need, when I need it. These three women help fill that void for me. It also helps remind me that some of my kids' issues are just that - kid issues and not related to adoption or special needs. Of course their challenges from the damage their birth mom did to them while in-utero is significant and I can never forget that. But it doesn't have to be the only thing I focus on when I'm venting about my kids, or how I can't keep up to the laundry pile, or deciding what to make for dinner.

But I definitely need the support around the special needs my kids have, and I need people who know what it's like. I need to have a place where I can not be the facilitator or the one giving support. I need to receive it too. And right on cue, when I was having a tough day with my 10 year old - going on 7 year old - FASD daughter, the phone rang and it was Gina inviting me to the FASD support group in Kelowna on Tuesday night. It's a small group that I've been to a few years ago of adoptive parents of FASD kids. Some kids are younger than mine, most are older and attempting independence. I know that nothing I say in this group will be a shock or surprise to anyone. At this group I am not an adoption support coordinator, I'm just another mom in need of support.

It doesn't matter that I have to take my daughter to the diabetic clinic in Kelowna that afternoon, then drive home, pick up my oldest daughter from her cross country running club, get home, make dinner, then head back to Kelowna for 7:30 that evening. I will do it for me. Yes, for me.

Books, books and more books.

So what have you been reading lately? Almost everyone I know has read, or is currently reading "The Book of Negroes" by Lawrence Hill. Have you read it? I've tried to read it twice but just couldn't get into it. Other people have said the loved it. I usually enjoy historical fiction, but...

I started reading "Any Known Blood" also by Lawrence Hill. I'm almost finished it and I'm really enjoying it. This one takes place in modern day and follows a 38 year old bi-racial man who tries to trace his family heritage back and forth from the US to Canada via the underground railway and back again. It's another long novel though, so be warned it will take you awhile to read it.

The kids and I went to the library the other day and I found the great book called "The Bite of the Mango". Have you heard about this? I read a review of it a few months ago and I kept meaning to request it from the library. It's the true story of Mariatu who was growing up in Sierra Leone quite happily until the age of 12 when armed rebels attached and brutally cut off both her hands so she would go the president and show him what happens to people who vote for his party. I was a little skeptical that I could read this true life account but it's fascinating. She writes quite simply and doesn't dwell on the savagery of the attack but more about her journey and her ability to recover from the event. It's a true story about what it is like to be child victim of war and the ability to transform her life. Mariatu is now a UNICEF Special Representative for Children and Armed Conflict.

I also picked up a Carol Shields book called "A Celibate Season" that looks good. I read her "Stone Diaries" a few years ago and enjoyed it, so hopefully this will be good too. This one's about a married couple who are faced with a 10 month separation and this is their letters to each other over that period of time.

Did you ever read "Songs in Ordinary Time" by Mary McGarry Morris? I think it was one of Oprah's book club selections. The first line is "The murder is seldom discussed without someone recalling that warm summer autumn night years before when Martha Hogan was only seventeen, and Bob Hobart, a classmate, offered her a ride home from the library." I'm hooked. Can't wait to read it.

And in big anticipation of my oven being back "on line", I picked up Rachel Ray's Big Orange Book". By this time of year I am so very tired of the usual summer type foods and looking for inspiration for some new recipies that are easy but yummy. So I should probably look through this book before I head to Costco this weekend. Hmmm, maybe I'll do that while I eat my lunch today.

Let me know if you've read any of these books, and any suggestions you have for my next trip to the library.

Oh it's a happy happy happy day today.

I never thought this day would come, but here it is....my oven is fixed! Yes, finally the part came in. Since May I've been without an oven, only a stove top, but now, my wonderful self-cleaning convection oven is back.

I missed you, my wonderful oven. I promise to keep you clean, and I will try my hardest not to burn anything on your wonderful surfaces.

Good bye bbq and electric grill. I will save you for camping next year.

The repair man is leaving now, and I know once he's gone it will be just me and my oven. Oh how I've dreamed of this day, and now it's finally here.

I must go now. I have baking/broiling/roasting to do.

It was fun while it lasted...

You see, whenever I have to go to Kamloops for work I stay with my parents who live there. It's convenient, clean, always available and the food is great. At little too great.

Ola, who is a great friend and my partner in crime when it comes to True Colours and Transracial Parenting Workshops, was with me and we had left our children and husbands behind. The weather was beautiful and I got to choose the music for the drive in the little rented Yaris. (Ola always brings gospel music or some other weird stuff so too bad this time she forgot her cds!)

We had a great meeting with the MCFD team in Kamloops and I dropped off 8 Welcome Home Baskets for families with new placements in the Kamloops area. Then we made the trip to the North Shore where I finally got to meet Monica who facilitates the long standing AFABC support group. We had a great visit too, but by then it's after 5 and time to head to my parents' place.

My mom's made a great dinner for us, and I brought a bottle of wine. (Too bad Ola doesn't drink wine, there was more for us!) And of course my mom made dessert. Peach pie with ice cream - it was sooo good. (And can you believe it, Ola doesn't LIKE ice cream! Again, more for me.) We watched some tv and had my mom's home made cookies (Ola does like those so I shared.) Note: I could of course make cookies myself...if I had an oven.

The next day we had a quick visit with Deanna who is starting a new playgroup in Kamloops (see the previous post for details). Time for lunch then running around doing some errands for the True Colours event the next day. Back to my parent's for another great dinner, more pie, more ice cream. Oh yeah, and more wine too. Sunday, my mom made pancakes. After lounging around for awhile we headed off to MacArthur Island for the first True Colours event in Kamloops. (Ola did all the work while I visited with the parents and looked after Sandy's foster daughter.) By the time we were out of there we were starving (hard to imagine I know!). Then we had to stop at White Spot for dinner before heading home. Phew!

But now it's Monday and back to whatever my reality is. The reality that I'm afraid to try to wear my jeans, so I must work off all that food and wine. It used to be so easy when I was in my twenties. Even in my thirties it wasn't all that hard. Now it sucks big time. So I pulled out my Jillian Michaels exercise dvd. It's a killer, but it works. None of my workouts are as sweat inducing as this one is. And there's no fancy footwork involved, no equipment except my own body weight. (No comments on that please!). I was drenched at the end of it. But I feel I have done my pennance for the food and wine. Three days of bad eating equals 5 days of heavy cardio. Will I learn from this? Nope. Cause I like pie and ice cream too much.

To quote the Katy Perry song "don't make the bet if you can't write the cheque". I'll just keep writing cheques thank you very much!

Wiggles and Giggles Playgroup - Kamlooops

Wiggles & Giggles Playgroup
The Adoptive Families Association of BC invites you to join us for an interactive playgroup for adoptive families with children 0 – 6 years old. We meet at the
“Y” Interactive Centre, Unit E 1420 Hugh Allan Dr
• join us for a morning of fun and games
• connect with other adoptive families
• share your excitement, your questions and concerns with other adoptive parents while the kids play

Time: 9 am – 11 am
Cost: $5/child or $15/family
Dates: Sat. Oct. 31 (Halloween Fun)
Sat. Nov. 21, Sat. Dec. 12 (Christmas Fun)
Sat. Jan. 16, Sat. Feb. 13 (Valentine Fun)
Sat. Mar. 13, Sat. Apr. 17 (Spring Fun)
Sat. May 22, Sat. June 19 (Summer Fun)

Contact: Deanna Jones 250-372-9673
Email: jones_a@telus.net or see our website at www.bcadopt.com

Back on schedule...I hope!

Where did last week go to? Oh yeah, now I remember. I had the stomach flu. I never get the stomach flu, and although I felt very slim afterwards, I hope I never get it again. At least none of my kids got it. But the very worst part of having the stomach flu is right after I got it, my husband did.

I hate to stereotype, but c'mon! I still have to function when I'm sick. The kids still had to get off to the first day of school. I still had to pack their snacks and take the first day photo and all that stuff. Why is my husband unable to function at all when he's sick? How come he gets to have his own private pity party and stay in bed? And when he did get up to return work phone calls he couldn't even remember how to dial the phone to retrieve his messages! It's so not fair. Or equal. Or whatever. It just is.

And now since the kids are back to school during the day, I have moved back into my office downstairs. How did it get so messy over the summer? Who kept dumping all these things in my office? Why didn't I put it all away when I brought it in here? Oh yeah I remember now. I was much more interested in heading to the beach, or going for ice cream or some other more important thing. But the party's over. So it took me a few hours to get everything back into place and all pretty and organized. Whew! Now it's so much better.

Then I spent a few days getting organized for my road trip to Kamloops. Which of course meant organizing everything for the kids while I was gone for the weekend. Two of them had soccer on Saturday, my step-daughter was hosting my granddaughter's 4th birthday party in our yard with an Alice In Wonderland Theme, the kids really wanted to get to the Fall Fair, plus my husband was trying to get caught up on all his paperwork (no doubt he was behind from having the flu and not functioning - but I digress...)

My step-daugther Michele loves planning parties, especially for her daughter. From the decor, to the food, to the party favors and costumes. Of course she had her mom to help her, as well as all 3 of my kids and fortunately the weather held for the event of the season. Technically my granddaughter's birthday isn't until October but the weather is usually not great for an outside party. I can't wait to see the photos. Check them out on her blog at www.micheledyson.blogspot.com

So here I am, back at my laptop, with a promise to blog more often. (Unless of course I get the stomach flu again - ha!)

How can summer be over?

You know summer is over when you wake up to a thunder and lightning storm, and it's so dark outside it feels like November.

It's absolutely pouring rain outside and it feels like one of those days for sleeping in, sitting around watching daytime tv and eating chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven.

I think I had a day like that once. It was a lifetime ago. Sleeping in? What's that like? I forget. Sitting around watching daytime tv? Haven't done that since my college days. Eating chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven? Oh yeah, I can't do that either cause I. Still. Do. Not. Have. An. Oven.

How did this happen? Summer's over, it's back to school on Tuesday - sort of. We've been trying to cram in all the things we were going to do over the summer but never got around to doing, in this week. And here it is Thursday, and the storm really doesn't go well with cycling the KVR trail or having dinner at the beach. (But I bet we could easily find a parking spot!)

Last week my oldest was in a funk about how "we never do anything", "why don't we have rich friends with a boat so we can go tubing?" "I'm so bored." "we never do anything fun". "summer vacay isn't over you know". So after a day of listening to this, I suggested she come up with a schedule of things we should do for this week. And she did. We did a few of the things she wanted to do (still haven't found the rich friends with a boat), and hopefully we can get a few more things done.

My parents arrive today and tomorrow is their 50th wedding anniversary. We're not doing a huge party or anything - they didn't want that. Instead, they've offered to take all of us out for a nice dinner tomorrow night. They stay in the barn on the property that's been converted into a studio suite. So last night we all went over there and decorated it up with banners and a ton of balloons. We filled their tiny bathroom with balloons (hope they stop and use a washroom enroute!) and hid balloons in the fridge, the dryer, etc.

Now this may sound kinda odd, but we have this on-going joke with my parents. A few years ago near Easter time, we went over and hid Easter eggs everywhere. No big deal right? Well then at Christmas, when my parents and my sister and her husband were staying there, I felt we needed to up the level of the game. So I bought 3 packages of little green army men from the Dollar Store and hid them all over the place in the barn. In shoes, in coat pockets, in the beds, in the washer, the freezer, every little nook and cranny I could find. And especially in places I know they wouldn't find for quite a while. And I never told anyone. My dad, being the expert prankster, never said a word about it.

So fast forward a couple years to this summer and my dad was here looking after the dog and cat while we were away. We came home to find little green army guys everywhere. Glued to the trellis next to the deck, frozen into ice cube trays, attached to key chains, in our shoes, in the pillow cases - everywhere.

So, in the words of Daffy Duck "Of course you realize, this means war!"

Game on.