Stop Blaming Adoptive Parents

I was reading an interesting article on "Ending the Cycle of Blaming Adoptive Parents" on Arleta James' blog for Perspective Press and I thought I would excert some portions of it for you.

"Overall, the child welfare system frequently...
Tells parents prior to the adoption to expect problems. Yet, after the adoption, we question why the child is still stealing, lying, shouting, making poor grades, etc. years after being placed in their home. The conclusion often formed is that there must be something wrong with the parents."

"Overall, the child welfare system frequently...
Holds adoptive families to a high standard, almost that of super family. They will heal all of the child’s hurts. When this does not happen, we again conclude the parents are inadequate."

"Overall, the child welfare system frequently...
Tells parents—pre-adoption— that services will be necessary. Yet, we often make them return to the public agency in order to obtain funding for services. We trusted the parents with the child. Yet, we don’t always allow them to make decisions as to what their family needs. We, at times, deny services to families in desperate need. We do so because we believe the family is the problem."

"Overall, the child welfare system frequently...
Claims to operate “in the best interests of the child” yet we become contentious when parents request funding or subsidy increases. We do so because we deny the pathology of the child. We view these requests as if we are giving money to the parent. Actually, when we offer monies, we are supporting the family in their efforts to support the adoptee. Isn’t this what we set out to accomplish in the first place?"

"The child welfare system needs to examine policies regarding adoptive families. We approved them to adopt. If there is something “wrong” with so many adoptive families, perhaps we need to re-evaluate the manner in which we conduct home studies and parent preparation. Better yet, maybe we need to heed our own warnings: these children will frequently have problems due to their past trauma. There are children for whom their pre-adoptive experiences leave long-term or life-long scars. Many adoptive families will require support throughout the adoptee’s childhood and adolescence. Many adoptees will continue to need services well into adulthood."

I totally agree - how about you?

Read her blog article at: http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2009/06/15/ending-the-cycle-of-blaming-adoptive-parents-the-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace-study/