"Do you get money for those kids?"

Yes, this is just one of the many questions I got asked by a nosy woman in Idaho. We were down at Silverwood Theme Park last week (I've been on holidays for the past two weeks so that's the reason for no posts!). It never ceases to amaze me how "people" will not hesitate to ask very personal questions because our family is visibly different.

Now I know that Idaho has a reputation for being less than tolerant of people of colour, but apart from the usual head swivels when we entered a restaurant, we didn't have any problems.

Back to the nosy woman though. My kids were on a ride that involved spinning at high speeds, so I chose to watch rather than ride. This grandmotherly woman was sitting in the shade by where I stood and proceeded to ask the following questions:

Do you get money for those kids?
Are they all related?
I always wanted to adopt.
You're so wonderful for taking them in.
Where are they from?

So fortunately I was prepared with my usual answers:

It sure is expensive to raise kids isn't it?
Yes.
Oh.
Oh.
We live in BC.

She then went on a rant about how her community in California has the highest rate of mortgage foreclosures in the country. And she has a diabled sister that got bit by a mosquito at age 11 and was in a wheelchair. But they took her on an airplane two years ago to Minnesota and had to change planes 4 times but no airline staff could help her properly and shortly after that her sister died. And that her community was where Scott Peterson killed his wife and baby right in the kitchen. And that they get 114 degrees F in the summer. And on and on and on.

It was a very long ride my kids were on.

All this because she wanted to know if we got money for adopting our kids.

My point, and I do have one, is that as a visible transracial family we are always on display. We can never leave that behind when we are with our children. Yet my husband and I can go out together without the kids(yeah like that happens all the time - not!) or separately, and no one gives us a second glance. Our kids don't get that opportunity.

Recently someone asked my oldest daughter what it was like to always look different than most of her friends. She said it didn't bother her at all. No big deal.

Maybe it's just me who has issues with it.