Do we need help?

How do you know if you need professional help? I always seem to waffle between "oh it's just me", and "this is not getting any better".

There are many days when I think that I'm overreacting to my kids' behaviors and that it's just kids being kids. I'm being over controlling, helicopter parenting, etc. and I should just chill out and let them do what they do.

But then, it's only a matter of time before chaos reigns supreme and someone is getting hurt or something is broken by someone else's impulsivity and lack of self control.

But at what point do we as parents of frequently challenging children, call in the troops, throw in the towel and say "HELP!"

One of the best ways I think, is to participate in an adoption support group, where you can hear other parents of wacky kids tell their stories. It really helps put things in perspective. Plus other adoptive parents are the best resources for professionals that work well with our adopted kids.

But it is summer time, and most support groups don't meet over the summer so what do we do? Sometimes, connecting with friends who are parenting typical kids just doesn't cut it. Their 8 year olds aren't throwing sand at little kids on the beach. Hopefully we all have at least one other adoptive parent who we can call and vent our frustrations to. Especially over the summer holidays when we are without the benefit and structure of school days. It can make any sane parent crazy. And we've got along way to go 'til September.

For our family, structure and consistency is key. And for each kid, it's different. If I let them spend the entire morning watching tv, the rest of the day would be a total disaster. So when they do watch an hour of tv in the morning (while I try to drink my coffee hot) I insist they do something at the same time such as drawing or building things with Lego. We are fortunate to live on a lot surrounded by orchard so they get lots of outdoor time. However if I release two of the three kids without specific instructions about where they can play, they will inevitably find something to destroy that involves a significant amount of money to repair. By lunch time they're hungry and then it's time to hit the beach or run errands in town that we ride our bikes to. After dinner, more outside time or just hanging out.

So that would be a good day. But, we don't always get those days. So I need to constantly be on my toes and ready to step in and keep the peace, distract and redirect.

It's exhausting. Thank goodness there's three wineries within walking distance of my house!