And yet, there is still that loss that keeps creeping up on me and then slamming me in the face when I hear of a pregnancy for someone I know. The latest mom-to-be is at the perfect age for having kids...this will be their third...hahahahaha....and this was definitely an unplanned one. (Should have had that vasectomy eh?)
The mom is coming to grips with having another child just when she was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for diapers, midnight feedings, and all the other parenting challenges. She's now much happier about it, but it threw her off for a few days, and weeks actually. She's an awesome mom to her first two, and I know she'll be great with this one too. And she has lots of support from her husband and her extended family. My oldest daughter babysits for them often and she'll be thrilled about getting to help with another new baby.
And yet for me there was this sense of loss, and "why does she get to be pregnant", an overall sense of discombobulation when she told me the news. Bizarre how that grief and loss can keep coming back at me even when I'm sure I'm done. No, I will not become one of those parents who keep having children or become a "serial adopter" (you know who you are!). I am quite happy parenting the three kids I have. And I can always get my baby "fix" from other younger moms and their kids.
But I sure wish this feeling of being left out, of missing out on something, of wanting to have had that experience, would go away. Permanently.
(the photo is of my grand daughter Nevaeh)
Nope, it never goes away.... but I like to reassure myself that along with avoiding pregnancy, we've also avoided stretch marks, hypertension, hemmroids, etc.
ReplyDeleteNow go have some wine and chocolate - the feeling will pass!