Isolation...

I'm one of those people who when they're stressed and overwhelmed tend to isolate myself from everyone and everything. I know it's not the "healthy" thing to do, but sometimes it's the only thing I can do.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who puts on their "socially acceptable" face, or as my kids call it "the nice mom voice" when other people are around. But there are times when I can't even manage to do that, so I stay to myself. And wallow. And have a full blown pity party. Which usually includes chocolate or other unhealthy food choices in quantities that would make Jenny Craig hurl.

Part of the reason I will isolate myself is that the energy level required to keep up the appearance that all is well in crazy town is more that what I have to give at that time. The other reason I've discovered, is that if someone who really sincerely cares, or "get's it" was to ask how it's going, I would fall apart completely.

But isolating myself isn't all bad. Not if it doesn't become habit forming. (Is there a 12 step recovery program for this??) It gives me time to have a therapeutic cry and then put things back into perspective. And it gives me the strength to put my big girl panties on and deal with reality. It also brings out my empathy for my kids who struggle, and for all those other moms who are struggling to hold it together while parenting some really challenging children.

I've discovered that for me, sleep is the best antidote. If I can get a really good night's sleep at least once or twice a week, I can function better, longer. That means getting to bed by 9 pm, falling asleep and staying asleep. My kids are usually all in bed and fast asleep (hopefully) by 9:30 at the latest. And that is usually my only time to sit and watch a tv show in silence. No one commenting on my choice of shows, laughing at the characters, etc. I don't even care if I've seen that particular episode of Law & Order several times. It's my time! And I don't have to think, or plan, or organize, or referee...just veg.

But last night, after a day of overwhelmingness (?) I made it to bed early, read 2 pages of my book, fell asleep and stayed asleep until the alarm went at 6:30 this morning. I know today will be a better day and I feel I have the energy to carry on. Jenny Craig can rest easy today.