FASD Parents' Daily Dilemmas

FASD parents daily dilemmas by A McCormick


Its 6 AM, I'm exhausted in bed,
got to get up, before I see red.
3 FASD kids awake, making lots of din,
I stagger out of bed, face a big ‘fazzy’ grin.
They run up and down, full of energy and fun,
another chaotic day has just begun.

I gather my patience and count to 10,
only 18 more hours of supervision.
My head is weary, my limbs ache bad,
we do this 24/7, I must be mad!

Downstairs for breakfast, worst part of the day,
3 kids in ‘land zog’, brain can’t function away;
Lots of twitching n shouting, they’re out of control,
need firm parenting, strict routines on the whole.

A chemist shop of medication is given to all,
let’s hope it calms them, so my kids don’t fall.
The girls never stop talking, drivel in the main,
demanding attention, for their gain.
Its routine, supervision, attention, being firm,
forever I’m hopeful, their brain will learn.

To remember things to help keep them ok,
so I won’t need to nag them all each day.
It’s upstairs to wash, teeth and dress,
don’t look in their bedrooms, they’re a horrible mess!

Their memory refuses to let them learn,
wanting to be good, they so do yearn.
Requires total commitment to help these kids,
harder for us, we have 3 sibs.

The treadmill goes round, day after day,
bringing constant demands in every way.
They’re off to school, can I relax at best?
No, daily appointments; health, school and the rest.
Then it’s washing wet beds, cooking special diets for them,
repairing damage caused in their utter mayhem.

I’ve got a degree, once earned a lot,
no chance of returning, this is my ‘spot’
Can’t work anymore, as I care full time,
money is tight, almost breadline.

I use my skills to tell others “don’t drink,
when babe in utero, read FASAWARE link.”

A blink goes by, still feel drained;
kid’s home from school, medication has waned.
Teachers not happy, “they haven’t sat still,
distracted others, they haven’t been ‘brill’”.

Playing is hard; don’t know how to share,
fight with each other, don’t seem to care.

If you take them out, hold on real tight,
within a second, they’re out of sight.

Items of others, for them are a ‘gift’,
very able they are to quickly shoplift.

Immature, social skills, safety a low,
money, maths, time, causes them such a blow.
Able in fantasy, but cant keep themselves safe,
vulnerable for life, look like a waif;

Eat all day long, tummy unfilled,
hyperactive, demanding, and very strong willed.
No coke, gluten, chocolate or additives to eat,
big home cooked food, you cannot beat.

Over stimulation and excitement makes them high,
massive frustration tantrums, I could cry.
Talk non-stop ‘rubbish’, obsessive at times,
drives us nuts by this and their constant whines.

Square peg in a round hole, they so do feel,
too many corners has their wheel.
They see the world differently from you and I,
common sense ‘out the window’, ‘pie in the sky’!

If things don’t work, you need to change,
don’t try harder, use your skill range.

Creative in art, love music and dance,
if they could take turns, would have a good chance.
To excel in these areas, would raise self-esteem,
to compete with the rest, they’re so very keen.

Routine in the day, routine in the night,
a lifelong commitment, I have given my plight.
They can’t get to sleep, cry, fidget n pick,
singing at night, their energy makes me sick!
Sleeping is hard, they sleep so badly,
will swap with you, for respite so gladly.

I adore my 3 kids, I love them so dearly,
but going at this pace, without rest, makes me weary.

To advocate, supervise, fight for their rights,
makes me ill and on tablets…probably for life.

My kids are so loving, faithful and true,
rewarding to care for, I can assure you.
But I wish you could see how it is everyday,
the hardest job ever, in everyway.

To the inexperienced, they look ‘just right’;
misunderstand the demands of 3 and our plight,
Respite together, few others would cope,
leaving us isolated, tired and ready to mope.

FASD doesn’t fit with the ‘systems’ of respite,
leaving some needy, no help in sight.

Most FASD kids are cared for with dedication n love,
by others, who didn’t create them from above.

Parenting kids with FASD is different from most,
“techniques never work at all”, we boast.

Communication difficulties, misunderstood by many,
raise Child Protection issues? But there aren’t any!!!!
Sadly some ‘professionals’, may have unfair concerns,
greater understanding of FASD, they need to learn.

Understand our kids and get families supported;
a greater awareness will stop fingers being pointed.
Please help us to cope with these wonderful kids,
to re-energise our lives, or they’ll ‘blow our lids’,
We don’t have the luxury to relax and ‘turn off’,
just to sleep, watch TV, or even cough!

FASD is for life; its hard all the way,
help us to help kids, day after day.

Alison McCormick is the adoptive parent of three kids with FASD and is the coordinator of FASawareUK East.