Fun with a pocket knife...

So I'm flipping through the brochure from our local Art Gallery to see what programs they have going on thru the summer, thinking perhaps there would be something appropriate for one, two or all three of my kids. My son is quite good at drawing so I thought perhaps there would be something there he would enjoy, and that he would possibly sit still for...

Well instead of a drawing class, I found this one for children ages 9 + that I know he would love. "Fun With a Pocket Knife" Seriously. For only $75 I can sign up my ADHD son for a two hour lesson on how to whittle. Give him a knife....are you insane???

Can you imagine a group of 9 year old boys sitting quitely learning to whittle and carve when they are handed a weapon of mass destruction? For two hours? Two minutes, possibly, but even that would be a stretch.

I think they would give new meaning to the phrase "fun with a pocket knife".

"What to expect when you're expecting an 11 year old."

For those of us who don't subscribe to Chatelaine magazine, here's a link to an interesting read about adopting kids from foster care...

http://en.chatelaine.com/english/weekend/article.jsp?content=20100202_164500_0025

Isolation...

I'm one of those people who when they're stressed and overwhelmed tend to isolate myself from everyone and everything. I know it's not the "healthy" thing to do, but sometimes it's the only thing I can do.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who puts on their "socially acceptable" face, or as my kids call it "the nice mom voice" when other people are around. But there are times when I can't even manage to do that, so I stay to myself. And wallow. And have a full blown pity party. Which usually includes chocolate or other unhealthy food choices in quantities that would make Jenny Craig hurl.

Part of the reason I will isolate myself is that the energy level required to keep up the appearance that all is well in crazy town is more that what I have to give at that time. The other reason I've discovered, is that if someone who really sincerely cares, or "get's it" was to ask how it's going, I would fall apart completely.

But isolating myself isn't all bad. Not if it doesn't become habit forming. (Is there a 12 step recovery program for this??) It gives me time to have a therapeutic cry and then put things back into perspective. And it gives me the strength to put my big girl panties on and deal with reality. It also brings out my empathy for my kids who struggle, and for all those other moms who are struggling to hold it together while parenting some really challenging children.

I've discovered that for me, sleep is the best antidote. If I can get a really good night's sleep at least once or twice a week, I can function better, longer. That means getting to bed by 9 pm, falling asleep and staying asleep. My kids are usually all in bed and fast asleep (hopefully) by 9:30 at the latest. And that is usually my only time to sit and watch a tv show in silence. No one commenting on my choice of shows, laughing at the characters, etc. I don't even care if I've seen that particular episode of Law & Order several times. It's my time! And I don't have to think, or plan, or organize, or referee...just veg.

But last night, after a day of overwhelmingness (?) I made it to bed early, read 2 pages of my book, fell asleep and stayed asleep until the alarm went at 6:30 this morning. I know today will be a better day and I feel I have the energy to carry on. Jenny Craig can rest easy today.

Note to self...

Don't watch "The Blind Side" and read "Push" by Sapphire in the same weekend.

By Sunday evening I was a mess. I enjoyed The Blind Side, but I'm not so sure Sandra deserves best actress for it; perhaps the story should have been "best screenplay". I strongly believe that everyone needs someone they can count on and feel connected to for their entire lives, and Michael found his family. But as happy as I was for him and his family, my heart goes out to all those others who never find that. I couldn't help but get teary eyed for his birth mom, and the scene in the restaurant where he sees his brother. I think it was Big Mike's social worker that mentioned how whenever he would leave a foster placement, Michael would always go back to the projects to find his "momma". So many moments that ring true for so many of our kids.

I was also reading Push by Sapphire this weekend, and I haven't been able to finish it. Her story is horrific, yet she manages to survive. I know I won't be able to watch the movie "Precious" based on the novel. It's not that I want all my adoption/foster care/black stories to end happily ever after. It's not that I see what could have been for my kids. It's the level of suffering that so many children endure here in North America, where we're supposed to have it all. Then my mind goes to all the suffering of children around the world who endure trauma on a daily basis. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well all weekend.

So as I sent my own 3 kids out the door to school this morning, I reminded myself that I've made a difference in the lives of three children. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

"FRO BRO" aka "The Hair That Walks"

My son's dream has come true. He has always wanted a "fro", and once spring break was over we took out his corn rows and voila, a fro. We'll see how long it lasts...the deal is he has to pick it out at least once a day or it goes back into corn rows. He's already taller than almost all the grade 4s in his class so now he must look huge. But he does love being the centre of attention, so there's no hiding now is there?

Spring Break - Week Two

Here's my family at the Olympic cauldron on the last weekend of spring break. We had a blast starting with a 4 hour shopping marathon at Metrotown in Burnaby. The next day it was the skytrain to Science World, OmniMax for a freaky movie about base-jumping and sky diving, then sky train to downtown to see some of the Olympic venues (and more shopping of course!). Then back to the hotel for some pool time. After that my husband took our oldest daughter to the Canucks game where Darcy Hortichuck personally gave her a practice puck they were using. (Apparently it helps to get noticed if you have Canada tattoos on your face and have Canadian flags tucked into your pony tail.) Although they had nose-bleed section seats they had a really fun time. Meanwhile the other two kids and I had a civilized dinner in the hotel restaurant then watched "Alvin and the Chipmunks - the Squeakwel" on pay per view in the room. All too soon it was over and time to head home and get ready for school the next day.

I can honestly say this was the first spring break that I thoroughly enjoyed and I really wasn't all that happy to see the kids go back to school. Although the house is neater and quieter while they're away all day, it was fun, yes actually fun, having them around all the time. They don't need as much structure around the snack and meal times, and they are also completely capable of making their own peanut butter sandwich for lunch. Plus they don't need constant supervision outside anymore. I do think the dog was glad to see them go back; she was exhausted from playing with them all the time.

I'm not out of job yet though. Someone still needs to set the timer for video game time, and to referee the arguments. And of course, I'm still needed for laundry duty. It's so nice to needed.

Spring break is over...sniff sniff....

I miss spring break. It's day three of the kids being back at school from having 2 weeks off. Where's the noise? Where's the constant mess on the kitchen counters? Why isn't the timer going off to signal the end of one kid's time on the video games, and the start of the next kid's time? Why isn't the door slamming and mud being tracked through the house? What is that I hear? The sound of music I chose being played while I work. Shocking! How did spring break go by so quickly?

I took the first week of the break off from work and got everyone caught up on dentist, doctor and various other specialists appointments. Oh don't get me wrong, I had big plans...my windows were going to be washed, I would sort through all the kids' clothes, my clothes, the shoes, and I even dreamed of putting away all the winter coats, boots, mitts, and other seasonal paraphernalia. Oh and I would also get all the files ready for the accountant for income tax. Did any of that get done? Well, um, not exactly.

I did manage to sort through all my shoes and take a substantial quantity to the thrift shop. What was I thinking buying red dress pumps? When would I ever have an occasion to wear them? I seem to recall a phase of watching "What Not to Wear" with Stacey and Clinton insisting that everyone needs a shoe with "a pop of colour". Clearly, I blame the media for influencing my purchases. And neither of my daughters would be caught dead wearing them either.

I had every intention of cleaning my windows, but there always seemed something better to do. Like take my kids on a hike up the mountain, or lie on the couch reading a book that usually ended up in a power nap. Oh and I did manage to clean out my entry way closets of the winter stuff that never really got used because we had so little snow this year. Phew! That was at least 30 minutes of my life.

And then somehow the week off was over, and I'm not sure how that went by so quickly, and yet so unproductively. Strange.