What about crying?

After my post the other day about the benefits of laughter I started thinking about the benefits of tears.

Many of us adoptive parents have cried more tears, and cried more often, than we ever thought we would, or could. But the tears are more than just an expression of sadness arn't they? For me, it's another form of stress relief, of acknowledging the grief and loss I feel, of being able to let go of wanting to, but failing at, having everything under control and being a perfect parent.

"Emotional tears have special health benefits. Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. After studying the composition of tears, Dr. Frey found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones.” Interestingly, humans are the only creatures known to shed emotional tears, though it’s possible that that elephants and gorillas do too." (Psychology Today)

Crying makes me feel better even if the problem/issue still exists. Nothing has changed, except afterwards, I do feel like I can then get up and carry on.

There's definitely a connection when we're laughing so hard, we're crying. Both make us feel better.

Fake it 'til you make it...

That's a phrase I've been known to use when supporting parents trying to build attachment with newly placed children.

When you're exhausted and don't think you can keep on going....fake it 'til you make it.

When you're discouraged and feeling like you will never have a healthy attachment with your child....fake it 'til you make it.

When you don't think you can make it through another IEP or parent/teacher interview....fake it 'til t you make it.

When you're trying to have fun with your kids at the park and all you can think of is how you should be home cleaning up/paying bills/making homemade something or other instead of using store bought....fake it 'til you make it.

And before you know it, you may just be having fun with your kids.

There is lots of research out there that shows by "pretending" to enjoy what we're doing our bodies still reap the benefits of stress-reducing smiling and laughter. Apparently our body does't know that we're actually faking it and our stress levels decrease.

Here's an interesting YouTube video by John Cleese on Laughter Yoga.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEfjVnYkqM&feature=player_embedded

Have you registered yet?

For the FASD Retreat 2010 in Penticton at the Naramata Heritage Inn & Spa?

It's only $30 per person and includes of full day of snacks, lunch, mini spa treatments, lots of laughter and time for you!

Click on the page on the right for more info, or go to www.pentictonfasdretreat.eventbrite.com

What the ?????

Me: What is it about kissing the bathroom mirror that is so appealing?

Her: Wasn't me.

Me: Yes it was you because no one else has been in there since I just finished cleaning it.

Her: Wasn't me.

Me: Should I take an impression of your lips and match it to the multiple prints on the mirror at your exact height? And let's not forget the lip gloss that you are currently wearing matches it perfectly.

Her: You never believe me!!

Me: Why do you think I that is?

Her: Because I lie all the time. But this time I'm telling the truth!

Me: You know, I really wish I could believe you, but once again the evidence against you is pretty overwhelming.

Her: Well I was just brushing my teeth and got too close to the mirror.

Me: Really - over and over and over you got too close to the mirror? And in different spots on the mirror? By the way, how did you manage to get your lip prints up so high? I sure hope you weren't standing on the (pedestal) sink.

Her: Well I had used up all the space down low so I had to.

Me: Weren't you supposed to be having a shower?

Her: I did.

Me: Then how come your hair isn't wet?

Her: See you never believe me! I was on the toilet so I couldn't have a shower. Duh!

Me: Then why could I hear the shower running for so long? You know we're on a septic system and you have to have short showers.

Her: Cause I turned it on before I was on the toilet.

Me: So you were sitting on the toilet while the shower was running? And then you were kissing the mirror while the shower was running?

Her: I don't know what you're so mad about! I turned the water off when you yelled at me.

Me: How about you just get your pyjamas on and get ready for bed.

Have you ever....?

...used guided imagery/meditation as a tool to help you through a difficult time?

You may roll your eyes at this idea (I know I did) but it may be worth considering. For you and/or your child/youth.

A few months ago my daughter's therapist suggested it as a tool to help with her anxiety, and although I thought I kept my eye roll in check, I was quite sceptical of the suggestion. She referred me to a web site www.healthjourneys.com and to a specific speaker (?) called Belleruth Naparstek (yes that is her real name). So like the desperate-for-anything-that-will-help mom that I am, I went to the website and downloaded some guided imagery tracks.

And because I can't resist a packaged deal, I purchased a 4 pack that included general well being, anxiety, sleep and weight loss. Did I mention that I'm a sceptic when it comes to anything new-agey? So I downloaded the tracks to my Ipod, and made a cd of the anxiety one for my daughter.

I asked her to listen to it before going to sleep every night for about a week. Which she did, and now the cd has mysteriously disappeared.

That was a few months ago and since then I will confess I have become a convert of sorts. When things are really stressful around here, I will load it on my ipod and listen while I try and relax. Belleruth's voice is quite suited to the guided imagery. I haven't lost any weight listening to the weight loss one - clearly I have to do more than just listen. However the general well being one is quite good and I can listen to it while driving.

Here's a link to a free sample http://www.healthjourneys.com/free_audio.asp

Just a little hint - if listening to the sleep guided imagery track on your Ipod while actually trying to fall asleep, delete all other music from the Ipod. This will prevent your sleep being disrupted by Twisted Sister singing "We're Not Gonna Take It" after you've finally dozed off.