Books, books and more books.

So what have you been reading lately? Almost everyone I know has read, or is currently reading "The Book of Negroes" by Lawrence Hill. Have you read it? I've tried to read it twice but just couldn't get into it. Other people have said the loved it. I usually enjoy historical fiction, but...

I started reading "Any Known Blood" also by Lawrence Hill. I'm almost finished it and I'm really enjoying it. This one takes place in modern day and follows a 38 year old bi-racial man who tries to trace his family heritage back and forth from the US to Canada via the underground railway and back again. It's another long novel though, so be warned it will take you awhile to read it.

The kids and I went to the library the other day and I found the great book called "The Bite of the Mango". Have you heard about this? I read a review of it a few months ago and I kept meaning to request it from the library. It's the true story of Mariatu who was growing up in Sierra Leone quite happily until the age of 12 when armed rebels attached and brutally cut off both her hands so she would go the president and show him what happens to people who vote for his party. I was a little skeptical that I could read this true life account but it's fascinating. She writes quite simply and doesn't dwell on the savagery of the attack but more about her journey and her ability to recover from the event. It's a true story about what it is like to be child victim of war and the ability to transform her life. Mariatu is now a UNICEF Special Representative for Children and Armed Conflict.

I also picked up a Carol Shields book called "A Celibate Season" that looks good. I read her "Stone Diaries" a few years ago and enjoyed it, so hopefully this will be good too. This one's about a married couple who are faced with a 10 month separation and this is their letters to each other over that period of time.

Did you ever read "Songs in Ordinary Time" by Mary McGarry Morris? I think it was one of Oprah's book club selections. The first line is "The murder is seldom discussed without someone recalling that warm summer autumn night years before when Martha Hogan was only seventeen, and Bob Hobart, a classmate, offered her a ride home from the library." I'm hooked. Can't wait to read it.

And in big anticipation of my oven being back "on line", I picked up Rachel Ray's Big Orange Book". By this time of year I am so very tired of the usual summer type foods and looking for inspiration for some new recipies that are easy but yummy. So I should probably look through this book before I head to Costco this weekend. Hmmm, maybe I'll do that while I eat my lunch today.

Let me know if you've read any of these books, and any suggestions you have for my next trip to the library.

Oh it's a happy happy happy day today.

I never thought this day would come, but here it is....my oven is fixed! Yes, finally the part came in. Since May I've been without an oven, only a stove top, but now, my wonderful self-cleaning convection oven is back.

I missed you, my wonderful oven. I promise to keep you clean, and I will try my hardest not to burn anything on your wonderful surfaces.

Good bye bbq and electric grill. I will save you for camping next year.

The repair man is leaving now, and I know once he's gone it will be just me and my oven. Oh how I've dreamed of this day, and now it's finally here.

I must go now. I have baking/broiling/roasting to do.

It was fun while it lasted...

You see, whenever I have to go to Kamloops for work I stay with my parents who live there. It's convenient, clean, always available and the food is great. At little too great.

Ola, who is a great friend and my partner in crime when it comes to True Colours and Transracial Parenting Workshops, was with me and we had left our children and husbands behind. The weather was beautiful and I got to choose the music for the drive in the little rented Yaris. (Ola always brings gospel music or some other weird stuff so too bad this time she forgot her cds!)

We had a great meeting with the MCFD team in Kamloops and I dropped off 8 Welcome Home Baskets for families with new placements in the Kamloops area. Then we made the trip to the North Shore where I finally got to meet Monica who facilitates the long standing AFABC support group. We had a great visit too, but by then it's after 5 and time to head to my parents' place.

My mom's made a great dinner for us, and I brought a bottle of wine. (Too bad Ola doesn't drink wine, there was more for us!) And of course my mom made dessert. Peach pie with ice cream - it was sooo good. (And can you believe it, Ola doesn't LIKE ice cream! Again, more for me.) We watched some tv and had my mom's home made cookies (Ola does like those so I shared.) Note: I could of course make cookies myself...if I had an oven.

The next day we had a quick visit with Deanna who is starting a new playgroup in Kamloops (see the previous post for details). Time for lunch then running around doing some errands for the True Colours event the next day. Back to my parent's for another great dinner, more pie, more ice cream. Oh yeah, and more wine too. Sunday, my mom made pancakes. After lounging around for awhile we headed off to MacArthur Island for the first True Colours event in Kamloops. (Ola did all the work while I visited with the parents and looked after Sandy's foster daughter.) By the time we were out of there we were starving (hard to imagine I know!). Then we had to stop at White Spot for dinner before heading home. Phew!

But now it's Monday and back to whatever my reality is. The reality that I'm afraid to try to wear my jeans, so I must work off all that food and wine. It used to be so easy when I was in my twenties. Even in my thirties it wasn't all that hard. Now it sucks big time. So I pulled out my Jillian Michaels exercise dvd. It's a killer, but it works. None of my workouts are as sweat inducing as this one is. And there's no fancy footwork involved, no equipment except my own body weight. (No comments on that please!). I was drenched at the end of it. But I feel I have done my pennance for the food and wine. Three days of bad eating equals 5 days of heavy cardio. Will I learn from this? Nope. Cause I like pie and ice cream too much.

To quote the Katy Perry song "don't make the bet if you can't write the cheque". I'll just keep writing cheques thank you very much!

Wiggles and Giggles Playgroup - Kamlooops

Wiggles & Giggles Playgroup
The Adoptive Families Association of BC invites you to join us for an interactive playgroup for adoptive families with children 0 – 6 years old. We meet at the
“Y” Interactive Centre, Unit E 1420 Hugh Allan Dr
• join us for a morning of fun and games
• connect with other adoptive families
• share your excitement, your questions and concerns with other adoptive parents while the kids play

Time: 9 am – 11 am
Cost: $5/child or $15/family
Dates: Sat. Oct. 31 (Halloween Fun)
Sat. Nov. 21, Sat. Dec. 12 (Christmas Fun)
Sat. Jan. 16, Sat. Feb. 13 (Valentine Fun)
Sat. Mar. 13, Sat. Apr. 17 (Spring Fun)
Sat. May 22, Sat. June 19 (Summer Fun)

Contact: Deanna Jones 250-372-9673
Email: jones_a@telus.net or see our website at www.bcadopt.com

Back on schedule...I hope!

Where did last week go to? Oh yeah, now I remember. I had the stomach flu. I never get the stomach flu, and although I felt very slim afterwards, I hope I never get it again. At least none of my kids got it. But the very worst part of having the stomach flu is right after I got it, my husband did.

I hate to stereotype, but c'mon! I still have to function when I'm sick. The kids still had to get off to the first day of school. I still had to pack their snacks and take the first day photo and all that stuff. Why is my husband unable to function at all when he's sick? How come he gets to have his own private pity party and stay in bed? And when he did get up to return work phone calls he couldn't even remember how to dial the phone to retrieve his messages! It's so not fair. Or equal. Or whatever. It just is.

And now since the kids are back to school during the day, I have moved back into my office downstairs. How did it get so messy over the summer? Who kept dumping all these things in my office? Why didn't I put it all away when I brought it in here? Oh yeah I remember now. I was much more interested in heading to the beach, or going for ice cream or some other more important thing. But the party's over. So it took me a few hours to get everything back into place and all pretty and organized. Whew! Now it's so much better.

Then I spent a few days getting organized for my road trip to Kamloops. Which of course meant organizing everything for the kids while I was gone for the weekend. Two of them had soccer on Saturday, my step-daughter was hosting my granddaughter's 4th birthday party in our yard with an Alice In Wonderland Theme, the kids really wanted to get to the Fall Fair, plus my husband was trying to get caught up on all his paperwork (no doubt he was behind from having the flu and not functioning - but I digress...)

My step-daugther Michele loves planning parties, especially for her daughter. From the decor, to the food, to the party favors and costumes. Of course she had her mom to help her, as well as all 3 of my kids and fortunately the weather held for the event of the season. Technically my granddaughter's birthday isn't until October but the weather is usually not great for an outside party. I can't wait to see the photos. Check them out on her blog at www.micheledyson.blogspot.com

So here I am, back at my laptop, with a promise to blog more often. (Unless of course I get the stomach flu again - ha!)

How can summer be over?

You know summer is over when you wake up to a thunder and lightning storm, and it's so dark outside it feels like November.

It's absolutely pouring rain outside and it feels like one of those days for sleeping in, sitting around watching daytime tv and eating chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven.

I think I had a day like that once. It was a lifetime ago. Sleeping in? What's that like? I forget. Sitting around watching daytime tv? Haven't done that since my college days. Eating chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven? Oh yeah, I can't do that either cause I. Still. Do. Not. Have. An. Oven.

How did this happen? Summer's over, it's back to school on Tuesday - sort of. We've been trying to cram in all the things we were going to do over the summer but never got around to doing, in this week. And here it is Thursday, and the storm really doesn't go well with cycling the KVR trail or having dinner at the beach. (But I bet we could easily find a parking spot!)

Last week my oldest was in a funk about how "we never do anything", "why don't we have rich friends with a boat so we can go tubing?" "I'm so bored." "we never do anything fun". "summer vacay isn't over you know". So after a day of listening to this, I suggested she come up with a schedule of things we should do for this week. And she did. We did a few of the things she wanted to do (still haven't found the rich friends with a boat), and hopefully we can get a few more things done.

My parents arrive today and tomorrow is their 50th wedding anniversary. We're not doing a huge party or anything - they didn't want that. Instead, they've offered to take all of us out for a nice dinner tomorrow night. They stay in the barn on the property that's been converted into a studio suite. So last night we all went over there and decorated it up with banners and a ton of balloons. We filled their tiny bathroom with balloons (hope they stop and use a washroom enroute!) and hid balloons in the fridge, the dryer, etc.

Now this may sound kinda odd, but we have this on-going joke with my parents. A few years ago near Easter time, we went over and hid Easter eggs everywhere. No big deal right? Well then at Christmas, when my parents and my sister and her husband were staying there, I felt we needed to up the level of the game. So I bought 3 packages of little green army men from the Dollar Store and hid them all over the place in the barn. In shoes, in coat pockets, in the beds, in the washer, the freezer, every little nook and cranny I could find. And especially in places I know they wouldn't find for quite a while. And I never told anyone. My dad, being the expert prankster, never said a word about it.

So fast forward a couple years to this summer and my dad was here looking after the dog and cat while we were away. We came home to find little green army guys everywhere. Glued to the trellis next to the deck, frozen into ice cube trays, attached to key chains, in our shoes, in the pillow cases - everywhere.

So, in the words of Daffy Duck "Of course you realize, this means war!"

Game on.

Crazy lying...

is making me crazy too. I'm starting to think I'm imagining things. Perhaps it's like that old Bette Davis movie "What Ever Happened to Mary Jane". You know the one where her sister (Joan Crawford) keeps moving things around and making Bette Davis' character think she's going crazy. I can't remember the entire plot but some days I feel as if I'm living it.

My daughter with FASD seems so typical is so many ways. She looks typical, she's pretty much stopped the toe walking and arm flapping, and can function most of the time like a typical kid. So when the "crazy lying" starts happening, I have to really stop and remind myself that this is normal to her. She truly believes what she is saying is the truth. I'll bet she could even pass a lie detector test.

For example, when we were at my parents' house in Kamloops my two daughters and I shared a bedroom. One morning I heard my younger daughter get up and head to the washroom, then return back to bed. After she was settled and back to sleep (or so I thought), I got up, showered, dressed, etc. When I came back into the bedroom my other daughter was furious. "As soon as you left the room she (the FASD child) started kicking my bed and waking me up and saying my name over and over and over even though I told her to stop."

My middle daughter's response was "I was just getting up to use the bathroom and I bumped the bed." And then the argument is on between them.

Had I not known that she had already just been to use the bathroom before me, I might have fallen for that one, but I knew better. And with her, there's no point in discussing it (or so our behaviorist says). So I tell her I know she's not being truthful and her behavior is not ok. But I seriously believe, that she believes what she is telling me is the absolute truth. It's crazy!

And if you've never spent any time with a child like this, it's so easy to fall for it. And other people rarely believe us when we tell stories like this. I'm sure they think "perhaps if you weren't so strict with her you'd have a better relationship with her", or "whatever do you mean? She's a perfect angel around us" or "maybe you(meaning me) should see a counsellor or someone for parenting advice".

I'm getting better at following the behaviorist's advice and not explaining it. As he said "How many years have you been trying to explain everything to her? Is it working? Then forget about it. (Say this with a heavy accent as if you're on The Sopranos). Just deal with the behavior and shut up." (I am paraphrasing of course).

I keep thinking there must be a career path for her that would make use of her wonderful skills.