Crazy lying...

is making me crazy too. I'm starting to think I'm imagining things. Perhaps it's like that old Bette Davis movie "What Ever Happened to Mary Jane". You know the one where her sister (Joan Crawford) keeps moving things around and making Bette Davis' character think she's going crazy. I can't remember the entire plot but some days I feel as if I'm living it.

My daughter with FASD seems so typical is so many ways. She looks typical, she's pretty much stopped the toe walking and arm flapping, and can function most of the time like a typical kid. So when the "crazy lying" starts happening, I have to really stop and remind myself that this is normal to her. She truly believes what she is saying is the truth. I'll bet she could even pass a lie detector test.

For example, when we were at my parents' house in Kamloops my two daughters and I shared a bedroom. One morning I heard my younger daughter get up and head to the washroom, then return back to bed. After she was settled and back to sleep (or so I thought), I got up, showered, dressed, etc. When I came back into the bedroom my other daughter was furious. "As soon as you left the room she (the FASD child) started kicking my bed and waking me up and saying my name over and over and over even though I told her to stop."

My middle daughter's response was "I was just getting up to use the bathroom and I bumped the bed." And then the argument is on between them.

Had I not known that she had already just been to use the bathroom before me, I might have fallen for that one, but I knew better. And with her, there's no point in discussing it (or so our behaviorist says). So I tell her I know she's not being truthful and her behavior is not ok. But I seriously believe, that she believes what she is telling me is the absolute truth. It's crazy!

And if you've never spent any time with a child like this, it's so easy to fall for it. And other people rarely believe us when we tell stories like this. I'm sure they think "perhaps if you weren't so strict with her you'd have a better relationship with her", or "whatever do you mean? She's a perfect angel around us" or "maybe you(meaning me) should see a counsellor or someone for parenting advice".

I'm getting better at following the behaviorist's advice and not explaining it. As he said "How many years have you been trying to explain everything to her? Is it working? Then forget about it. (Say this with a heavy accent as if you're on The Sopranos). Just deal with the behavior and shut up." (I am paraphrasing of course).

I keep thinking there must be a career path for her that would make use of her wonderful skills.