Day one wasn't so bad....my son laid on the couch, dozing, sneezing, snorting, etc. I didn't have any plans that would take me out of the house that day, so I just worked from home and did my usual thing.
Now it is day two. The lump on the couch is still there. Snorting, dozing, etc. I was given a brief reprieve this afternoon by my husband so I could go see my daughter's exhibit at the middle school science fair. He had to rush back to work (or did he???), so I was once again held hostage by a lump on the couch. Wouldn't you know it...this afternoon was warm, sunny and begging me to go outside for a walk. But could I? Oh no.
Day three is not looking good. He was supposed to go skiing with his class tomorrow but there's no way, even if he's feeling better, that he'll have enough energy for that. I was planning on going skiing tomorrow too, but noooooo, not now.
I am so done with being Florence Nightingale. I never get to lay on the couch for 3 days watching TV and dozing. And if I am sentenced to another day of being sequestered with the lump, who knows what I'll be forced to do. I may resort to watching old episodes of "Murder She Wrote", and "Law and Order" - including the original, Special Victims and Criminal Intent.
It's not that I don't have work to do - I do - but it's the fact that I can't leave the house that makes me want to leave the house.
The only saving grace is that my son has moved beyond watching Treehouse TV when he's sick. I couldn't take any talking animals at this point.
So if you need any free legal advice, feel free to ask me. By the end of tomorrow I will have watched every detective show.
Sorry I must stop blogging now - it's time for Judge Judy.
Welcome to the AFABC Interior Region Blog. Check back here often for resources, events, and discussions on contemporary adoption issues.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My road is more than 1 km in length...
and on this day it is covered in snow and ice and -8 degrees celsius not including the wind chll factor. Our property is the last one before you start climing a long steep hill. At the top of the hill is a winery, which makes climbing the hill in summer and fall worthwile. My kids take the school bus to and from school. The bus stop is at the flat end of our road.
No, this is not one of those horrible math problems where train A leaves the station at 2 pm travelling north while train B leaves the station at 2:15 pm travelling east....yada yada yada. My point, and I do have one,is that my wonderfully adorable 10 year old ADHD son didn't come home from school on time today. I saw the bus on the road below us so I know it left the school on time. Oh, he must have had basketball afterschool today and will have left me a message on the phone (because we already had an incident last week when he didn't phone me to tell me there was basketball and stayed and I didn't know where he was.) Nope no message. So I phone the school and yes there is basketball afterschool today - girls basketball.
By now he is 15 minutes late and just as the panic starts to set in, he walks in the door.
Me: How did you get home?
Him: I took the bus.
Me: But the bus went by 15 minutes ago.
Him: I got distracted and forgot where I was going.
Me: How could you forget where you were going when you walked right by our house?
Him: I was looking at my boots and thinking about what happened at school.
Me: (Thinking something terrible had happened at school to make him this distracted) So what happened at school? (I tried to use my caring, concerned mom voice)
Him: We had so much fun playing snow soccer today!
Me: Snow soccer? That's what you thought about all the way up the hill in the cold wind on a slippery road?
Him: Yeah and I was looking at my boots the whole way.
Me: Seriously?
Him: Yeah.
Me: What else was left to say.
This is why medication is a good thing. Perhaps I need to talk to the pediatrician about upping the dose.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Save the date....
Yes - the dates are now set for the 2011 FASD Retreat in Naramata. So mark your calenders now and I'll let you know when the details are finalized.
Friday November 4th will be a meet and greet. You can stay overnight at one of the quaint motels in Naramata. Then Saturday November 5th will be a full day of focusing on you. You will be able to choose one or both days, and we promise lots of great food and great company.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A freebie and some interesting tid bits...
Grab a coffee and a snack and check out these links....
Need a quick break? Listen to this 15 min. free guided imagery download to help with headaches....
http://www.healthjourneys.com/audio_spa_treatment.asp
Here's an interesting article about goal setting....yes I see your eyes glaze over...seen it, heard it, yada yada yada. The researchers found that this technique was the most effective in encouraging people to make plans of action and in taking responsibility but only when expectations of success were high. When expectations of solving their interpersonal problem were low, those in the mental contrast condition made fewer plans and took less responsibility. Hmmm, perhaps if my daughter doesn't really want to succeed at changing her behavior, for a variety of reasons, this could be impacting her inability to take responsibility for her own behaviors...here's the link.....http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/01/how-to-commit-to-a-goal.php?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PsychologyBlog+%28PsyBlog%29
Another great two part article from Arleta James on "Parenting and Healing the Sexually Acting Out Adoptee" Part One is here http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2011/01/20/parenting-and-healing-the-sexually-acting-out-adoptee-part-one/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PerspectivesOnChallengedFamilyBuilding+%28Perspectives+on+Challenged+Family+Building%29
and Part Two is here http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2011/01/26/parenting-and-healing-the-sexually-acting-out-adoptee-part-two/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PerspectivesOnChallengedFamilyBuilding+%28Perspectives+on+Challenged+Family+Building%29
And of course...don't forget to check out our AFABC website for tons of resources and articles and tons of different topics....www.bcadopt.com
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
What's on your playlist?
As I huffed and puffed through my pathetic workout yesterday, I was thinking it's time to update my tunes. I had my ipod on random shuffle or no specific order or whatever it's called, and the variety of songs that came on made me laugh.
From Blue Rodeo to Eminem, U2, KD Lang, Little Wayne, Shakira, Nicky Minog, Glee Cast...it's quite the eclectic playlist. And sometimes I mistakingly leave on my guided imagery tracks.
A friend of mine was shocked when she learned I listen to rap music. If it wasn't for my older daughter I would never has thought I would like it either. Yes the language is horrendous but the messages are very powerful. There are days when I can relate to Eminem's anger and his frustration at the systems we live in. When Little Wayne is cursing at the racism and stereotyping he experiences I can only hope my kids are aware that this could be their experiences too. (Without the drugs, addictions and violence.)
Then my playlist switches to songs performed by the cast of Glee and they always make me smile remembering the episodes my daughters and I obsess on by watching over and over. Again, I think of the kids who are marginalized for being different and I hope things aren't like that for them, but realistically I know they will experience feeling different.
And U2's Joshua Tree album is one of my all time favorites and I never get tired of hearing the songs from there. Years ago my husband and I visited Joshua Tree National Park outside of Palm Springs - yes Bono and I have SO much in common. I absolutely love KD Lang's version of Hallelujah and I always sing along to my favorite Blue Rodeo songs. Well perhaps huffing and puffing along with the songs.
Music can have a huge impact on my emotions and I have to remember to use it's powers for good and not evil. Listening to serenity type music while I'm writing or working on something that requires focus and concentration seems to make the job easier. But the only way housework gets done is if the music is upbeat and loud.
It really is a great way to escape whatever is happening even if it only is distracting me for a short while. But it helps change my focus and hopefully moves me along to where I should be.
Ever since my first daughter came home at the age of 5 days old, I've sang to her. I cannot carry a tune, so I always thought her first words would be "Mommy don't sing." Instead she has embraced the power of music and although I can't claim the credit for her genetic ability to sing and dance she still belts out the songs (minus the swears) whenver she feels like it.
When my second daughter came home at the age of 3 I was shocked and saddened that she didn't know any songs. Nothing. Not even twinkle twinkle little star or any of the other little kid songs. No one had ever sang to her. It took her until she was about 9 years old to actually voluntarily listen to music, and rarely will she ever sing out loud. The power to soothe with lullabyes was denied her. There ought to be a law against that.
So I have decided that on my planet, every child will be sang to as soon as they are born and it will be required of every parent and caregiver to sing to their kids. No matter how out of tune you may be.
From Blue Rodeo to Eminem, U2, KD Lang, Little Wayne, Shakira, Nicky Minog, Glee Cast...it's quite the eclectic playlist. And sometimes I mistakingly leave on my guided imagery tracks.
A friend of mine was shocked when she learned I listen to rap music. If it wasn't for my older daughter I would never has thought I would like it either. Yes the language is horrendous but the messages are very powerful. There are days when I can relate to Eminem's anger and his frustration at the systems we live in. When Little Wayne is cursing at the racism and stereotyping he experiences I can only hope my kids are aware that this could be their experiences too. (Without the drugs, addictions and violence.)
Then my playlist switches to songs performed by the cast of Glee and they always make me smile remembering the episodes my daughters and I obsess on by watching over and over. Again, I think of the kids who are marginalized for being different and I hope things aren't like that for them, but realistically I know they will experience feeling different.
And U2's Joshua Tree album is one of my all time favorites and I never get tired of hearing the songs from there. Years ago my husband and I visited Joshua Tree National Park outside of Palm Springs - yes Bono and I have SO much in common. I absolutely love KD Lang's version of Hallelujah and I always sing along to my favorite Blue Rodeo songs. Well perhaps huffing and puffing along with the songs.
Music can have a huge impact on my emotions and I have to remember to use it's powers for good and not evil. Listening to serenity type music while I'm writing or working on something that requires focus and concentration seems to make the job easier. But the only way housework gets done is if the music is upbeat and loud.
It really is a great way to escape whatever is happening even if it only is distracting me for a short while. But it helps change my focus and hopefully moves me along to where I should be.
Ever since my first daughter came home at the age of 5 days old, I've sang to her. I cannot carry a tune, so I always thought her first words would be "Mommy don't sing." Instead she has embraced the power of music and although I can't claim the credit for her genetic ability to sing and dance she still belts out the songs (minus the swears) whenver she feels like it.
When my second daughter came home at the age of 3 I was shocked and saddened that she didn't know any songs. Nothing. Not even twinkle twinkle little star or any of the other little kid songs. No one had ever sang to her. It took her until she was about 9 years old to actually voluntarily listen to music, and rarely will she ever sing out loud. The power to soothe with lullabyes was denied her. There ought to be a law against that.
So I have decided that on my planet, every child will be sang to as soon as they are born and it will be required of every parent and caregiver to sing to their kids. No matter how out of tune you may be.
Monday, January 31, 2011
2010 FASD Retreat - Naramata
Hey - I just found my photos of our FASD retreat in Naramata, so here's a few of them and a bit about our day there. Stay tuned for our update on 2011 dates. 
Nov. 6th was a day of indulgences for moms, dads, grandparents and other caregivers of children and youth affected by FASD. Naramata Heritage Inn and Spa was the location for the day that focused only on the caregivers.
The lives of parents with children with FASD are consumed with medical appointments, assessments, school team meetings, IEPs and the need to constantly supervise their children, which leaves virtually no time for taking care of themselves. Without adequate support, parents face burnout and hopelessness.
Our retreat provided the opportunity for parents and caregivers to take some time for themselves; to build connections and practice self care. From spa treatments to workshops on journaling for your life; from art therapy to creating their own altered journals and card making; from yoga to guided walks along the lakeshore; participants were encouraged to focus on themselves and put aside their everyday worries for some well deserved “me time”.
Chef Thomas provided an delicious array of food that began with fresh from the oven croissants, and a delicious luncheon of gourmet sandwiches, soup and salads. And of course no retreat would be complete without crème brule and chocolate torte for dessert!
A huge thank you to the Naramata Heritage Inn and Spa for their donation of the facility and Aveda room amenities for our gift bags for all the participants. Another big thank you to the Victoria Foundation for helping fund this program, and of course the support of the FASD Key Worker program via Penticton and District Community Resources Society.
Here are a few of the comments from some of the participants:
“The Creator tells us that there is Heaven on earth, and today I experienced it.”
“A beautiful venue, the ambiance set the stage for a successful day.”
“Every bit of it was extraordinarily wonderful. I have a lot to take home and use, and I will go home a more energized, happy BALANCED person!!”
Nov. 6th was a day of indulgences for moms, dads, grandparents and other caregivers of children and youth affected by FASD. Naramata Heritage Inn and Spa was the location for the day that focused only on the caregivers.
The lives of parents with children with FASD are consumed with medical appointments, assessments, school team meetings, IEPs and the need to constantly supervise their children, which leaves virtually no time for taking care of themselves. Without adequate support, parents face burnout and hopelessness.
Our retreat provided the opportunity for parents and caregivers to take some time for themselves; to build connections and practice self care. From spa treatments to workshops on journaling for your life; from art therapy to creating their own altered journals and card making; from yoga to guided walks along the lakeshore; participants were encouraged to focus on themselves and put aside their everyday worries for some well deserved “me time”.
Chef Thomas provided an delicious array of food that began with fresh from the oven croissants, and a delicious luncheon of gourmet sandwiches, soup and salads. And of course no retreat would be complete without crème brule and chocolate torte for dessert!
A huge thank you to the Naramata Heritage Inn and Spa for their donation of the facility and Aveda room amenities for our gift bags for all the participants. Another big thank you to the Victoria Foundation for helping fund this program, and of course the support of the FASD Key Worker program via Penticton and District Community Resources Society.
Here are a few of the comments from some of the participants:
“The Creator tells us that there is Heaven on earth, and today I experienced it.”
“A beautiful venue, the ambiance set the stage for a successful day.”
“Every bit of it was extraordinarily wonderful. I have a lot to take home and use, and I will go home a more energized, happy BALANCED person!!”
The party's finally over...
...my husband's "significant number" birthday party weekend that is. And not a moment too soon. I'm all socialized out.
I rented a huge condo up at the ski hill for us starting on Friday night. Family and friends either stayed overnight in their own accomodation (I'm not crazy enough to torture anyone else to stay with us...) or they came up for the event and drove home with a designated driver afterwards. And for those who chose not to come up the hill such as two of my husband's sisters and a brother-in-law, we did a family dinner Sunday at our house. (Here's my kids enjoying the hot tub at the condo.)
There were plenty of people and kids of all ages including my almost two and five year old granddaughters, my parents, my siblings and spouses, friends...I've lost count of the number. Tons of food, beverages, gifts, laughter and of course no family get together would be complete without the drama that children bring. (Let's not get into the adult child drama...)
Although there was lots of laughter, there were also some tough parenting moments. Too much stimulation, different beds, different routine, different food, unknown people...put this all together and for one of my kids it spells a-n-x-i-e-t-y. Big time. And her only coping skill is to regress into a much younger age. Not much surprises us anymore with her, and we know it's only a matter of time before she retreats to a much younger age when she's stressed. But if we never did anything, or went anywhere so she wouldn't have to be anxious, then the rest of us would miss out on so much fun.
There is a tipping point in every activity, every event. And if we watch for the triggers and are prepared for anything, usually we can weather the storm. Usually, not always. Sometimes we have to pack up and go home (or the hospital emergency room), but not often.
Life's too short to stay at home all the time.
I rented a huge condo up at the ski hill for us starting on Friday night. Family and friends either stayed overnight in their own accomodation (I'm not crazy enough to torture anyone else to stay with us...) or they came up for the event and drove home with a designated driver afterwards. And for those who chose not to come up the hill such as two of my husband's sisters and a brother-in-law, we did a family dinner Sunday at our house. (Here's my kids enjoying the hot tub at the condo.)
There were plenty of people and kids of all ages including my almost two and five year old granddaughters, my parents, my siblings and spouses, friends...I've lost count of the number. Tons of food, beverages, gifts, laughter and of course no family get together would be complete without the drama that children bring. (Let's not get into the adult child drama...)
Although there was lots of laughter, there were also some tough parenting moments. Too much stimulation, different beds, different routine, different food, unknown people...put this all together and for one of my kids it spells a-n-x-i-e-t-y. Big time. And her only coping skill is to regress into a much younger age. Not much surprises us anymore with her, and we know it's only a matter of time before she retreats to a much younger age when she's stressed. But if we never did anything, or went anywhere so she wouldn't have to be anxious, then the rest of us would miss out on so much fun.
There is a tipping point in every activity, every event. And if we watch for the triggers and are prepared for anything, usually we can weather the storm. Usually, not always. Sometimes we have to pack up and go home (or the hospital emergency room), but not often.
Life's too short to stay at home all the time.
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